Sometimes, even a simple question like “How was your day?” can make your kid want to avoid you. To foster a better relationship, it’s crucial to understand what your children really need from you.
I’ve put together seven helpful tips to help you get closer to your child. By stepping into their shoes and understanding their perspective, interactions with your child can become more meaningful and fulfilling.
1. You Let Your Mood Affect Your Relationship with Your Child
It’s not about hiding emotions from our kids but being aware of how our mood impacts them. Kids pick up on how we feel, even if we think they’re too young to notice.
Dealing with stress is important. When I’m stressed, I might react harshly to simple requests, which can make my kids hesitant to come to me in the future.
Taking breaks and getting in a better mental space helps me be there for my children emotionally. This balance allows me to provide the support they need without letting my stress seep into our relationship.
By managing our stress, we can better support our children’s emotional well-being, creating stronger and healthier relationships with them.
2. Multitasking While They Try to Tell You Something Important Can Make Them Feel Less Valued
When my kids approach me with something significant to share, I make sure to give them my full attention. Stopping what I’m doing, making eye contact, and really engaging in the conversation shows them they are important to me. If I try to multitask, they might feel like they’re not a priority and could end up keeping their feelings to themselves in the future.
3. Persistently Questioning Them About Their Problems Can Make Them Feel Worse
Constant probing can overwhelm children. Instead of persistent questioning about their issues, use open-ended questions that allow them to share comfortably at their own pace. This approach respects their independence and encourages open communication.
4. You Aren’t Taking Your Child’s Problems Seriously
Always take your child’s concerns seriously, even if they seem trivial. Mocking or diminishing their feelings can discourage them from sharing. Relate to them with stories from your own life that echo their experiences, which can help them feel understood and supported.
5. You tell others something your child confessed to you.
If your child confides in you, keep it private. Sharing their secrets, even with close friends or family, can breach their trust and make them reluctant to confide in you in the future.
6. You ask them about their day first.
Instead of bombarding them with questions about their day right away, allow them time to unwind. You can initiate sharing something about your own day as a way to open the conversation naturally.
7. You Clamp Down on Them When They Show Signs of Independence
Kids naturally seek more freedom as they grow, and that’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean they’re being disrespectful or that you’re losing control. Instead of reacting by tightening the rules, try letting them make some decisions on their own.
When you show trust, you’ll be surprised at how responsible they can be. They might reveal a maturity you hadn’t noticed before.
Additional Tip: You Don’t Let Them Be Children
Encourage your child to reflect on their day through creative activities like drawing or storytelling. This not only helps them process their feelings but also provides a fun and relaxed way for them to share their experiences with you.
Got any other ways to avoid pushing kids away? Drop your insights in the comments!
I’m Emma, a parent just like you, navigating the twists and turns of raising two children. With a passion for child development and a commitment to sharing practical wisdom, I’m here to walk alongside you on this parenting journey. Let’s tackle challenges together and celebrate the joys of parenthood, one step at a time.
