8 Things That Parents Have Difficulty Telling Their Kids

When it comes to important conversations with kids, I’ve noticed that many parents shy away from discussing their financial situation. A lot of parents, around 69%, are hesitant to bring up money matters unless their children ask first.

Only 61% of parents open up about finances when their kids bring it up. This likely comes from a place of wanting to protect their children from worry. There are several other challenging topics that parents often find difficult to discuss with their kids, and tapping into these conversations is key to fostering healthy, open relationships.

1. Explaining that Santa Clause Doesn’t Exist

When it comes to explaining the truth about Santa, I’ve experienced a range of reactions from my kids. My older ones slowly figured it out on their own. I gently told them they’re now part of the magic-making team instead of being the recipients

With my youngest, the situation was more emotional. After Christmas at age 8, they confronted me, demanding the truth. They burst into tears when I confirmed their suspicion.

I respect my wife’s and my choice to not completely shatter the fantasy for our younger ones just yet. We let them believe in Santa, but we ensure he doesn’t take credit for all their gifts. The excitement they experience is priceless, reminding me of my own childhood.

Seeing the magic through their eyes is truly special. It’s about balancing the joy of belief with the eventual understanding that they, too, can create magic for others.

2. They Might Be Having Money Problems

Growing up, my parents tried to shield me from their financial issues. They didn’t want me to worry, so I knew little about their struggles. My husband’s parents, on the other hand, were open about their finances, which did stress him out early on. Yet, this transparency taught him valuable lessons about money.

By the time we finished high school, he had educated me on the value of earnings and typical salaries. It’s essential to explain to kids that money comes from working and must be spent wisely on necessities like housing, food, and healthcare. This can help them understand basic financial principles early, though I felt significant pressure knowing my parents could barely cover our mortgage.

3. Not having an answer to every question

When I was a kid, I would ask my parents tough questions. They often admitted they didn’t know the answers. This made me understand that they weren’t experts in everything. This realization helped me set boundaries and learn responsibility as I grew older.

Seeing my parents struggle with my simple school assignments also had a big impact. By the time I was a teenager, I noticed they would turn to me for help with subjects they didn’t understand. It was a clear sign that adults don’t always have all the answers. This shaped my motivation to learn and understand the world around me, encouraging a sense of independence and self-discipline.

4. Saying that you can’t be anything you want in life

When I talk to my kids about their future, I aim to balance encouragement with realistic expectations. It’s important they know they have many choices, but those choices come with the need for effort and capability. I emphasize that while they can pursue their dreams, success often requires a combination of natural talent and hard work.

For instance, someone might have a knack for music or sports, and that special talent could give them an advantage. It’s helpful for them to explore their interests deeply to find what they truly enjoy. This way, they can set high expectations, engage in positive self-talk, and strengthen their self-sufficiency.

5. The Fear While Watching My Kids Grow Up

Every time I think about my kids growing up, I feel a wave of anxiety. I’m scared I’ll die before they reach adulthood. My dad passed away when I was 18, and I feel like the men in my family aren’t built for long lives.

There’s also the stress of potential accidents. I worry about what might happen if one of my kids gets seriously hurt and ends up needing lifelong care. The thought of having to provide that kind of care is overwhelming.

Dealing with childhood anxiety and sensory issues adds another layer of tension. Navigating these challenges while trying to maintain a sense of emotional regulation often feels like a series of power struggles.

6. That They Didn’t Really Like You as an Infant

From birth until about age two, it’s true that I struggled to feel a strong connection. Sure, the babies were undeniably cute. My feelings of shame and guilt were palpable, as admitting such thoughts seemed wrong.

Witnessing their unacceptable behavior also made these early years challenging. Personality differences and sibling rivalry added layers of complexity. Feeling resentment and distrust, I wondered if this was normal. Interactions felt more like judgment rather than bonding. It took time, but by their second year, that all started to change. My behavioral problems in coping with infants weren’t permanent, much to my relief.

7. Sharing About Being Adopted

From the moment we brought our kids into our home, we began discussing adoption. Starting early makes it easier to get familiar with the topic. When my older daughter was just a baby, I’d often say things like, “We are so happy we adopted you. You mean the world to us.”

When the girls were younger, we read many children’s books on adoption, hoping they’d feel at ease with their own stories. Open conversations helped as they grew older. I always answered their questions honestly, straightforwardly. Many believe that lies or half-truths only create mistrust and hurt within the family. So, I choose to be upfront and honest.

8. Hiding their health problems from you

I understand why some parents choose to hide their health problems from their children. They don’t want their kids to feel scared or sad when facing such heavy news.

Kids usually don’t worry about the financial or logistical aspects of someone’s illness. They just fear losing a parent, which is enough to make them deeply distressed.

When I was 16, finding out my grandmother was dying after a stroke was devastating. I couldn’t cope with it, and I avoided visiting her in the hospital because I hated seeing her suffer.

Imagine how difficult it must be for younger kids if it’s their own mother or father who’s sick.

The emotional consequences of hiding these issues can also lead to depression and other mental health problems. In some cases, a mental health professional might be necessary to help cope with these complex feelings.

What was the hardest thing your parents had to tell you? Or what’s the most difficult thing you’ve had to tell your kids?